First day of being a college freshie.

So far, it’s fun, yet scary at the same time. Glad I have survived the first day. But to tell you the truth, I cried to mom when I got home. I don’t know why, I just feel terrified and acting like a little kid. But I know I must grow up now!! Ugh. It’s true that college is way different from high school. Really. And I just miss everything about high school, the teachers and my classmates. I got a hard time dealing with other people, though the good thing is that I have met new friends. I should accept the fact that this is a brand new start for me, for us. And all beginnings are hard, and scary. But all you have to do is “trust yourself”. And just “be yourself”. You can go through the hardships and trials if you believe you can. You must have that strength inside you. You shouldn’t be afraid of what’s in there. You should try new things, and expect the worst. But do your best always, stay positive and keep smiling. I have experienced a lot this day, it was tiring. But the good result of all that has happened, is that I have learned. Now, I know what I should do and don’t. I’m still in the adjustment process, and I hope things will get better.

Thank you Lord for staying by my side always. I know You’re there, guiding me always. I love You!

I will be on Tumblr hiatus for five days. I can’t blog because my dad has the laptop and he will be gone for a week (but I think I can still post using the iPad, so I am still not sure about that haha) And sadly, I can’t blog about my birthday, too. I really want to share with you what had happened that day. I know I can, but it is more pleasing and it won’t be boring if I blog it with some photos right? And the photos, they’re saved in the laptop. *cries* But my birthday turned out so well, it’s full of fun and I really did enjoy it. I spent it with my family, friends and some cousins. It turned out not the way I expected! I’m truly happy indeed. They really made my day extra extra special! I’m beyond happy! :)
Sixteen years of ups and downs and I am so blessed that I have made it till this year. I want to thank all the people who never left my side, who stayed with me though I am really hard headed and weird and dramatic hahaha! Thank you all! I am forever grateful because of my family and friends. And a single thank you is not enough to thank God for all of these blessings. I love You Lord! This is all because of You! ❤
And of course, I really want to thank all of those who greeted me here (especially my Twinny :)) Thanks for remembering it! Hahaha. I love you guys ❤
More years will come, hopefully, and I wish I can deal with all the problems and challenges I am destined to face. I know I will not be alone in times of hardships, because I know God is always by my side, and also my family and friends. Ahh. I have to stop here. This post makes me wanna cry hahahaha. Again, thank you all. And may God bless us always!

Plays: 70
Track Name: Happy Birthday Twinny!

Too many disappointments *sigh* Wishing myself a happy birthday tomorrow :(

052313 in bullets

• Woke up at 6:45 am because I’m kinda excited for today
• Got out of bed by 7:30 am hahahahaha
• Took a bath :3
• Then watched Doraemon and Detective Conan before leaving (cause I love them hehehe)
• Went by at Ardyane’s house to pick her up then went off to our alma mater because we’ll have a choir practice for the event on June 3
• Met Sir Clyde, our Choir master (at the same time my cousin) then saw my classmates and acted like I didn’t see them for a long long time hahahaha
• Jarman (schoolmate) showed us some changes in our school and it really changed a lot huh, and we’re kind of jelly because after we graduated, that is when they did some changes which made our school even better huhu
• Then while waiting for others, we went out to eat because we didn’t eat breaky
• Went back to school then the practice has started. And it lasted for an hour only haha professionals hahahahahaha kidding
• Saw our high school teachers!!! Ahhhh I missed them so much :( We stayed there with them for a while and decided to go to Marie’s house!
• We played Mafia (not that mafia you’re thinking, yung laro na may Mafia, Doctor, Police and Citizens hahaha yung ganun. Hirap explain basta yun na yun haha)
• I can see that they’re really having fun. I am too. Hahahaha
• Then ate a lot of food prepared by Tito Arnel (Marie’s dad) *nom nom*
• Truth or dare!!
• We did this “open forum” after. And it really made me cry while telling them all my concerns and the pain I am feeling. They did too. And it’s amazing that after we did that, my heart felt lighter. No more worrying. It actually made me feel better.
• Went home by 5 pm because my dad already texted me to go home hahaha

Day well spent!! Thank You Lord for this day! ❤

Truth is, sometimes, we prefer to be so selfless and just think about other people’s sake. That it is fine with us to feel the agony, instead of them. That we want them to be saved by the pain, then let ourselves suffer from it. That it’s okay with us to be judged, just not them. That we protect them from the cruel world, though it will break us eventually. I can’t understand why we always choose to be the one who’s all torn up, who is bruised and wounded. Maybe because we care way too much for other people. We give our all to them, but the saddest thing is, they don’t appreciate it. But it’s alright. We accept it. Because we love them. But then we’ll realize there is nothing left for us.

I’m trying my best not to shed tears, to be strong and just act like I don’t care. But guys, I can’t. I’m still a human. I have feelings and I get hurt even though I don’t want to. It’s just.. inevitable. And I can’t do anything but to just bear with it. Go with the flow. Look at its brighter side. But that’s the problem. I can’t please myself to find the good in it. *tears* I don’t know why but I guess this is really what is destined to happen. And it makes me weaker, by thinking it, it makes me fall down. I can’t understand why people just left me behind without enough reasons. Always. Like one day they are there having a good time with you, and the next day they’re gone. :( It hurts. It makes me think I’m not a good person, that I’m not good enough for them to stay by my side.
And this is the best advance birthday gift guys. Thanks

Did you ever feel like there’s a war between you and your thoughts? Like suddenly, you feel like you’re in a battlefield just because you both can’t agree on one thing. And you have nothing to do but get your armor, and fight. Because you don’t wanna lose. They keep on turning you down, making you fall and hurting you to just die. But you don’t want to give up. Your thoughts are ruining you, and they make you go insane. But you have your shield with you, ready to protect yourself on the things that can tear you down. As you fight, they keep on making you surrender, but you do not want to. And in the end, neither of you want to raise the flag, so you will realize that you both lost the battle.